so that's the good news, the bad news is that i once again developed the headache from hell during the day. it would just NOT GO AWAY. nina and i went grocery shopping after we got back to town and then i just hung around the house and slept on the couch for a bit after taking another three aspirin. we were gonna meet for dinner with the whole clique for a belated "new year's dinner" since we were almost all out of town and didn't celebrate together. i even thought about cancelling because of the headache but i didn't wanna miss it.. we were supposed to meet at 7.50 p.m. downstairs to ride our bikes to the restaurant together. so i finally get up from the couch to get ready around 7.35 p.m. and three minutes later the doorbell rings and it's maren asking me if i'm ready to go. she had that weird grin on her face and i was actually kinda annoyed because of her rushing me and my headache and all.. and then i see lukas standing there and i'm thinking "something's going on.." and boy was i right. all of a sudden i have 15-20 people in my apartment for a surprise housewarming-party (stuehleruecken). they brought food and drinks, plates and cups and everything.. i was shocked. mostly because i knew it just wasn't a good day. but i also thought it was so sweet they organized it. they had made salads, prepared hamburgers, brought beer, wine, champagne and all kinds of things. but i just had such a bad headache.. i managed to "endure" until around 11.30 p.m. or so, trying to socialize and talk to everybody but it was bad. and i also felt so bad because i really really appreciated it and loved the idea and all, but i just felt so crappy..... yeah, so that was last night. it could have been great and an awesome party but no, kim has to have a headache. someone -- GIVE ME A FREAKIN' BREAK. seriously..

so i slept like shit as well. kept waking up and the headache was still there. i talked to C for a while last night but i couldn't even really concentrate on what he was saying.. i slept 'til around noon and when i got up i still had that headache. you know the kind that's behind one eye and you feel like poking a stick through your eye in your head to make it go away. and then you constantly feel a little sick to your stomach but you don't know if it's because you haven't eaten anything really or what.. so after a coffee and some cereal i took two of the pills C gave me. some sort of strong non-aspirin pain reliever, lay down on the couch and slept for another 1,5 hours or so. and that's when the headache was a lot better. not 100% gone but compared to the rest of the weekend just awesome. i still didn't do a whole lot. i took a bath and canceled on my friends (the "real" new year's dinner was tonight..) and just stayed home all day. didn't even feel like talking to anyone even though i was gonna call my family in MN, sannie and ute (sorry girls) - and i haven't called C yet either. one good thing i did though: i got the costume on ebay. so now you can all see what i'm gonna be wearing on carnival this year:

fun, fun, fun and only 10 euro.. of course i'm gonna have to wear a sweater underneath and pants and boots because we'll be outside half the day, but i still love it and can't wait for it to get here ;o)

now, my head and body still feel like i partied all weekend and i'm absolutely not ready to go back to work tomorrow. i don't feel like i had a weekend to recuperate at all.. i am depressed because i miss C so much and overwhelmed with everything that's happening like my brother & michi, now my sister seems to be starting something with olli, my brother's best friend and i have a problem with that for various reasons, tim got the job in nuernberg so that's where maren will be moving some time this year...... and the bottom line is that i just don't wanna be here. i don't wanna deal with all of that and i wanna be with C. crap. i'm not whining. i'm just telling you..