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well, the plan "as talked about with chris the last time we talked about it" is right now that he'll come in august. that is -- of course -- if his back is good enough by then. which would probably be more likely if he'd actually do everything possible to get better. like -- he did get the offer from his former physical-therapy-dude, to join the gym without having to pay the signing-up-fee and the guy would set up a program fitting the injuries need. after all -- the guy totally knows the history of the injury from the very beginning. but of course, that offer has "only" been approx. two months ago and there probably was no time to go yet. or -- getting a new passport. which is probably gonna take six weeks and he's only had time to do that for almost two years. or -- get in touch with his friends here in germany that work for the english school and find out if there's a chance they might be needing someone in the fall.. or -- just do SOMETHING! i don't know if you can tell, but i'm frustrated! and then i don't know if i should at some point give him an ultimatum or if that would be totally unfair because after all he IS in pain (one day more and one day less) and he tells me he hates it there and does wanna come and misses me and thinks of me all the time and blah blah blah. but WHEN are you gonna come for f..ks sake? i don't know what i would have done if i'd known at the time he left that it would be that hard and more than two years until he'd be back. i just don't know. but i love him so bad, that just thinking about quitting and breaking up makes me sick and so upset and brakes my heart and i feel like crying. i'd probably rather give everything up here to fly over there with no money and no job and no option. just to be with him. but i guess i'm just not THAT stupid! which is good. i guess... now i am holding on to august. but in the bottom of my heart i just KNOW it won't be august. i did before and now i almost know for sure. i checked on flights today for august and since that's still holiday-season they are about 150 bucks more than in september. and he's just not the kinda guy that would say "screw 150 bucks if i can be with you sooner". so i feel save enough to make it public now: chris won't come before september. and right now i feel like screaming. which i'll either do or compensate by running. either way, i'm gonna go now!! BYE!
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