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2004-04-08 * 2:35 p.m.

need sleep!
i wonder when i will be able to sleep like i used to again. i'm used to the waking-up-at-least-once-every-night-thing now, but it still kills me when i wake up and can't go back to sleep. last night i was up at 1:45 for the first time but i did go back to sleep then. until 3:45 or so. and that time i couldn't and went back to sleep after 5 a.m. i talked to chris around 4:30 since i was awake anyway .. i told him that i'm thinking about coming in july for two weeks if he's not here by then. the thing that's getting to me the most about the distance is the not knowing. so if i'd book for july at least i knew when we're gonna be together again and i could count the days and stuff like that. even though it would still be three months. with the situation as it is right now i can do SHIT! but then he told me last night that he's actually doing better and chances are good that he'll be here by the summer. so i guess we'll wait some more ...

i'm just gonna get drunk with miriam and her canadian man rob and my friends tonight. did i mention that i usually sleep well after drinking?