party in ddorf was last weekend. it was great. people there are just the nicest people right next to my friends here. and i always feel so comfortable there. and you know what - i topped the "schlachthof-party" and went to bed at 8:30 in the morning. it was just really cool. we danced and talked and they barbequed pretty much all night (i think i had a bratwurst at two in the morning ..). it was just a really good time!

and then back in bremen ... since chris really doesn't have time to talk to me lately (i know partly just because he's working so much - but still ...) i asked him what was going on and he told me he needed a "break" and asked me to not call him any more but wait until he calls me (when he finds the time). so i know even less than before what's gonna happen. at least i thought i could count on him coming by the end of october, like planned, but nowi can't do that any more. and for the first time in almost three years i'm not sure if he still loves me. i mean i know i love him more than anything and even when things were tough it kinda helped knowing that i mean a lot to him, but now ... so i guess if he doesn't call until - let's say christmas ;o) - that'll be it ... and i just sound like i'm doing good. it would kill me. i mean i love that man. i'm just really good at pretending everything is okay even when i feel like shit. just like pretty much all week this week! maybe i should think about hollywood. suppose i'd be a great actor ;o)

change of topic: thekla and mario are getting married in oldenburg today. they are probably married by now. that's so cool! CONGRATULATIONS!!! and all the best for the fuure together and a great honeymoon! hugs from bremen. ROCK'N ROLL!!!

gotta go guys ... oh and check out absolutelyordinary.com and really nice as well girlfrommars.org , both sara's sites, some time. i like to go there anyway ...

XOXOXO (life suck's sometimes)