tomorrow is the big day! i am still pretty stressed. my sister's 25th birthday is on saturday - so on top of the regular wedding-and-work-stress we have to organize somewhat of a party for her on saturday. but things are pretty much working out fine and she'll like what we planned!

i am pretty frustrated though especially about the whole chris-sitation. i really wish he was here with me right now. i just talked to him yesterday and it really doesn't look like we will see each other for at least another three months. and then - what's the point in me taking my vacation to go see him when he has to work while i'm there ... well, i don't know. and who knows what's gonna be three months from now anyways, now that bush decided to start a war even though pretty much everybody else in the world - most americans, too - don't think war is the right solution ...

I HATE THE SITUATION! i simply want the man i love here with me. is that too much to ask for? i don't think so! so i am really depressed right now and - as bad as it sounds - i'm not all too excited about the wedding. i'm happy for michi and knut and all the rest of it but i'm just not in a partymood right now. and i feel like i really don't wanna go there alone ... and ..... oh well -

JUST SHOOT ME!